Sharing, musing, reflecting...

Why Confidence is Over-Rated

Is it important to you to feel confident before you take action?  Have you ever avoided or delayed taking action because you didn’t feel confident enough?

There is a whole industry devoted to Confidence. There are thousands of books and websites focused on helping people to be more self-confident or stay confident. But what if all this good advice is misguided?

Here’s a different perspective which I hope you find helpful.

Being confident is over rated and the pursuit of it may actually be a distraction that gets in the way of success..

Here are some definitions of confidence that I found online;

- the state of feeling certain

- from Latin confidentia  ’have full trust’
How can we ever be certain about anything? Wanting to be certain can be a trap that keeps us stuck.

It’s also useful to see that self-confidence is a feeling, a state.  If we think that we need to feel a certain way before we can take action in our lives, then we are probably (innocently) deluding ourselves.

For example, people often believe that they need to ‘feel motivated’ before they visit the gym or make that important phone call. But when we take action, it creates it’s own momentum and motivation. 

In the same way, striving to get confident isn’t required.  It’s not confidence that we need to live happy successful lives. We just need an intention, some direction and a bit of courage or a kick up the **** from a supportive friend or colleague.

A definition of Courage:   The ability to do something that frightens one; bravery

Confidence naturally emerges and deepens when we take action and stretch ourselves. How many things have you done in your life where you started off hesitant and nervous and you now do it without even thinking about it?  I’m sure you can find lots of examples in your work or personal life.

As an example, I avoided writing articles for clients (even though they kept asking me to write). 

I had the idea that I needed to be a confident writer in order to get started. But how could I become a confident writer until I had some experience of writing?!

We don’t need confidence to take action. We just need courage. And courage means taking a leap of faith, trusting yourself and going for it.

As Susan Jeffers’ best selling book described – feel the fear and do it anyway.

After all, what is fear and insecurity but a bunch of scary thoughts. And thoughts pass. They are temporary.  That is the nature of thought so the greatest antidote to fear and insecurity is seeing the truth of this.
“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.” Aristotle
Chantal Burns ScreenshotChantal Burns

Executive Coach, Speaker and Bestselling Author of

'INSTANT MOTIVATION: The Surprising Truth Behind What Really Drives Top Performance'

Click here to get Instant Motivation

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