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Chantal’s Influence Tips 59: The ONE thing you need to uncover to get to what really matters

 

Much of your success in work, relationships and living a life you love, comes down to one thing.
 
That one thing is often invisible to people and yet when you know what to listen for and how to recognise it, it becomes as visible and audible as a firework display.
 
So what is it?  It’s your values.
Values are like your internal sat nav. They are always guiding your thinking, choices and behaviours. They are what gets you up in the morning.
 
Values are your deeper motivation.
If you want to know what’s really important to you – look at your life. Consider where you are, who you spend time with and what you do with your time.
 
People are always demonstrating their values – through the choices they make and
how they behave.
 
When you understand what’s really important to another person, you can help them make better decisions.
  
When you elicit what really matters to people, you will know how best to influence their thinking.
  
How do you do that?
 
It’s very simple. You watch and listen. And then you ask questions.
 
Let’s imagine you’re speaking with a client.
They say to you: “Things are quite tough at the moment. I want to ensure we can maximise visibility without increasing overheads too much.
I don’t want to risk making the wrong decision, so we’re going to take our time on this.”
 
What are some of the values stated or implied?
 
“Things are quite tough at the moment. I want to ensure we can maximise visibility without increasing overheads too much. I don’t want to risk making the wrong decision, so we’re going to take our time on this.”
 
Once you’ve identified their values in this particular instance, do you really understand what they mean?  For example, What does ‘visibility’ mean to them?
You have your own definition but is it the same as theirs?
 
Words are labels for our subjective experience.
These labels hide a bunch of other crucial information. If you don’t get beyond the labels, you miss vital clues and insights.
 
So based on the above example, you have some implied values but you can go further. You can elicit the value inside the value!
 
You can ask:
“What’s most important to you about [maximising visibility]?”
 
By asking this question, you’ll get beyond the label and closer to the real need or want. And that’s where the gold is.
 
Next week, I’ll show you how you can get straight to the gold in under 5 minutes.
Chantal Burns ScreenshotChantal Burns

Executive Coach, Speaker and Bestselling Author of

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