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Chantal’s Influence Tips 31: Secrets of Rapport – Part Four: The Ultimate Persuasion Pattern

I want to offer you one of the most powerful persuasion patterns available.
When you apply it, you will get faster connection and rapport with people. You’ll accelerate buy-in and diffuse the toughest of resistance easily.
In fact one of my clients said to me recently (after feedback from a pitch meeting);
“If I’d used this approach, we would have won the business or at least massively increased our chances”.
This pattern is simple and many people do it naturally. Here’s a true story to illustrate it.
A couple of years ago, I was asked to lead a session with a group of teenagers.
It was my first time leading a group of 15 year olds through this kind of experience.
In addition, it was going to be an intensive session – very different to anything they’d done before. I was safe in assuming there might be some resistance and I only had a few minutes to get their buy-in.
I thought to myself “How can I create a fast connection with these guys, so that they are willing to listen and fully engage?”.
After all, here was this woman they’d never met, to teach them a bunch of stuff they didn’t even realise they needed!
I reflected on all the different experiences I’d had as a teenager. I thought about how they might be feeling about the session and about me.
I looked around the room and said;
“I know that some of you have chosen to be here. I also know that some of you probably felt like you were dragged here and some of you still aren’t quite sure why you’re here at all, right?!
And I wouldn’t blame you for wondering what someone like me could possibly understand about your life or where you are coming from.
As you can probably tell, I’m not your age – even with my most expensive moisturiser on”
(this elicits a few giggles from the girls)
At this point, I could tell I had their attention, so I continued.
“Well you know what? I’m not going to say that I understand your life or what’s going on for you. I don’t live where you live. I don’t have your family life, your friends. I’m not you. But I have been a teenager and although I had loads of great times, it was also difficult and painful sometimes.  Everyone had a view about who I should be and what I should do with my life. Some days I felt invincible. Other days I felt like I failure”.
“So all I ask of you today, is to keep an open mind and an open heart and what I promise in return is to give you huge value for your time here. Are you willing to doing that?” 
So, what’s the pattern?  
The persuasion pattern is; 
If you read through my example again, you will see how I was PACING their experience first.
I anticipated what might be going on for them.  Then I shared some truths about my life.
It was only after I had made at least 3 pacing statements, that I then made a request – leading them somewhere else. 
As you review my example, you’ll notice each pacing statement I make. Then notice how I transition into leading them, when I ask them to ‘keep an open mind and open heart’.
Whilst you probably do this naturally (to an extent), you may want to consciously practise this ‘pattern’ in all conversations where you know you need to persuade, sell, change someone’s mind or get agreement.
At the point where you’ve paced them effectively and you’re in genuine connection, only then do you start leading. It only takes a minute, in the words of Take That!
I’ll unpack more of this next week. In the meantime, enjoy exploring the variety of ways you can use this – whether it’s presentations, pitches, proposals or informal conversations..
Chantal Burns ScreenshotChantal Burns

Executive Coach, Speaker and Bestselling Author of

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