Sharing, musing, reflecting...

Chantal’s Influence Tips #30: The Secrets of Rapport – Part Three: Doing the Tango


If you’ve done any ballroom dancing (or watched it), you know that one person leads
and the other follows or paces their partner.

It doesn’t work when both people try to lead. In my old ‘control freak’ days,  I tried that and I got my toes squashed! 
Rapport is like dancing and the steps are
Pace & Lead.
Pacing  = getting into synch, mirroring, acknowledging, understanding..
Leading = re-directing attention, mismatching, inviting them to consider new ideas, info..
The mistake people make is trying to lead before they’ve effectively paced the other person.
If you were a doctor, it’s a bit like prescribing without diagnosing. In the context of persuasion, it’s like selling your ideas before you know what’s most important to them.
Enjoy the dance and don’t be too quick to lead.
Chantal Burns ScreenshotChantal Burns

Executive Coach, Speaker and Bestselling Author of

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