Sharing, musing, reflecting...

Chantal’s Influence Tips 26: Cut the ties and still come out on top

I want to share a really useful distinction about success.

Many years ago I was working on a project. It felt like there was so much riding on it and the experience was really stressful. A colleague asked me “Are you attached to this or just committed to making it happen?”.

He went on to explain what he meant. I later realised I was so invested in the outcome that it felt like my life was dependent on it. Was that true? Of course not but it felt like that and so I operated from that mistaken belief.

As a result, I was micro managing people rather than letting them get on with the job – which they were more than capable of doing. I was driving myself too hard and not giving myself space to reflect and re-charge. Consequently, I was getting burnt out which reduced my capacity to be creative and responsive.

Whether it’s winning business or finding love, when people are attached to outcomes, it creates a sense of neediness and unnecessary stress or anxiety. It doesn’t bring out the best in us.

On the other hand, when people are committed to something, they still put the required effort in but the quality of the experience is way better (for everyone!). Being committed means doing the best you can do and knowing you’re ok whatever the outcome.

And when you know that you are OK no matter what happens, you can remain detached from the results whilst being committed to playing full out. And you’ll probably get better results. Who wouldn’t want that?

Take a look at some of the goals, projects or ‘things’ you are currently working towards. Do you think your ’ok-ness’ is dependant on how things work out?

If you let the quality of the experience be your guide, you’ll know when to adjust your thinking and cut the mental ties that bind you to outcomes.

To your increasing influence and wellbeing!
Chantal Burns ScreenshotChantal Burns

Executive Coach, Speaker and Bestselling Author of

'INSTANT MOTIVATION: The Surprising Truth Behind What Really Drives Top Performance'

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