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Chantal’s Influence Tip 32: Secrets of Rapport – Part Five: Ultimate Persuasion Unpacked

In the previous tips, I shared one of the most powerful persuasion patterns. 
 
Pace, Pace, Pace, Lead.
 
You can use it in any situation where you want to get rapport fast and have people listening.
 
I’m going to unpack it, so you can see how and why it works. If you didn’t read last week’s tip, I recommend you do, and then come back to this one afterwards.
 
Ok, so let’s unpack it.
 
I started off by saying:
 
“I know that some of you have chosen to be here.  I also know that some of you probably felt like you were dragged here and a few of you still aren’t quite sure why you’re here at all, right?!
  
1st Pace:
So my intention was to speak to everyone in the room by covering off all potential scenarios.
 
I then said:
  
And I wouldn’t blame you for wondering what someone like me could possibly understand about your life or where you are coming from.
As you can probably tell, I’m not your age – even with my most expensive moisturiser on”
 
2nd Pace: Once again, I look at the situation through their eyes and make a safe assumption about what they might be thinking.  But you’ll notice that I said “I wouldn’t blame you for wondering”.  I didnt say ‘I know you are wondering” .  I then inject a little humour and share something personal about me which helps to increase trust.
 
Then I say:
“Well you know what? I’m not going to say that I understand your life or what’s going on for you. I don’t live where you live. I don’t have your family life, your friends. I’m not you. But I have been a teenager and although I had loads of great times, it was also difficult and painful sometimes.  Everyone had a view about who I should be and what I should do with my life. Some days I felt invincible. Other days I felt like I failure”.
 
3rd Pace: Rather than try to sell them on trusting me, I simply declare the truth of the situation.  Then, I share from my personal experience – which also happens to be a universal experience for 90% of teenagers. The sharing of my own vulnerability allows them to relax and know that they can just be themselves.
 
Then I move into…
“So all I ask of you today, is to keep an open mind and an open heart and what I promise in return is to give you huge value for your time here. Are you willing to doing that?” 
1st Lead: Now I make a request.  I invite them to do what is required so they get value for their time. Inside of that, I also make a promise and then  I ask for their agreement.
 
So there it is. Pace, Pace, Pace, Lead.
 
You can use this pattern in 1 minute or 5 minutes.
There are a variety of ways you can incorporate it.  The key is to take a few minutes plan.
 
What’s your intended outcome?
 
What’s the best way of pacing them?
What can you safely assume might be true for them?   (are they risk adverse? time poor? change weary, excited? ready for change? etc.)
 
And where do you want to lead them?
 
Enjoy experimenting and notice how people use this pattern – especially people who are naturally high empathisers.
Chantal Burns ScreenshotChantal Burns

Executive Coach, Speaker and Bestselling Author of

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